Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
