CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
