Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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