My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
