I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
