I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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