did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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