Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
