Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
