TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
