I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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