she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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