Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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