Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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