so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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