I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
