i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
