She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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