Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
