He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
