I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
