dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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