I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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