Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
