they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
