The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So many bounce houses so little time
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
