my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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