Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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