Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
