Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
