Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
