It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
