this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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