I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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