I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
