"it" just moved
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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