It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
