Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
