Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you win again, gameday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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