Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
