Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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