He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
