this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.