Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

new low.... made out with someone while peeing

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(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this

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(303): View more from Colorado

Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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(208): View more from Idaho

Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.

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