I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
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