I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
