she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
