Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
