He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
