So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
