grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
