You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
