Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
