I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize