he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
