Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
