we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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