Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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