i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
