I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it hurts more in the daytime
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
