Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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