well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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