garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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