I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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